A snapshot of the Book "Chaos of the Senses" by Ahlam Mostaganmi...

My readers... While reading the book "Fawda Al 7awas"... a paragraph stopped me, which I would like to share with you... Please find It below:

"الناس؟ إنهم لا يطرحون عليك عادة، إلا أسئلة غبية، يجبرونك على الرد عليها بأجوبة غبية مثلها"

يسألونك مثلاً ماذا تعمل ... لا ماذا كنت تريد أن تكون. يسألونك ماذا تملك.. لا ماذا فقدت. يسألونك عن أخبار المرأة التي تزوجتها... لا عن أخبار تلك التي تحبها. يسألونك ما اسمك.. لا ما إذا كان هذا الاسم يناسبك. يسألونك ما عمرك.. لا كم عشت من هذا العمر. يسألونك أي مدينة تسكن.. لا أية مدينة تسكنك. يسألونكهل تصلي... لا يسألونك هل تخاف الله. ولذا تعودت أن أجيب عن هذه الأسئلة بالصمت. فنحن عندما نصمت نجبر الآخرين على تدارك خطأهم.

IT definitely triggers your thinking... what did you think of once you read it? Please share your thoughts if any...

Mr. Psychiatrist – A friend or an Enemy?

Year 2005...

The word "psychology" is the combination of two terms - study (ology) and soul (psyche), or mind. Humanistic Psychology is a current manifestation of that ongoing commitment. Its message is a response to the aggression of the human spirit that has so often been implied in the image of the person drawn by behavioral and social sciences.

Every once in a while each one of us passes through different depression phases, however, depression is relative. For some, it might reach its extreme levels, where the advice of a mother, a brother or even a close friend will not help! While for some, depression lasts for a short while and they get over it easily without consulting anyone around. Thus, depression varies among different people with different backgrounds.

Youth, especially in their maturity stage, needs counsel from experienced people, as they get through different complex phases; mentally, physically, as well as emotionally. All of these changes have an indirect impact on the youth’s personality formation, development of their communication skills, way of thinking and analyzing life aspects. However, some youth grow up and still lack such qualities, which will make it harder for them to cope with frustration and depression. At some cases, youth tend to seek the help of a psychiatrist, which is healthy to overcome one’s problem; however, some might isolate themselves and stay struggling. The result of depression faced by youth, especially during their teenage phase, might make a definite impact on their psychological status ever after.

Concerning this issue, Dr. Mohammed Habashaneh- a professional Jordanian Psychiatrist- gave us his justification “The initial practical step is to find out the reasons behind the general avoidance behavior towards the idea of consulting psychiatrists. And it would be more helpful to correct the misconceptions around this issue in ‘parent’s mind’ more than directing our efforts sololely to young age group. Simply because how come the youngsters can refer themselves to psychiatrists while their models -their parents- are in refusal and denial of the whole idea. The classical misunderstanding of linking the psychiatry and psychiatric illnesses with “Madness” or “insanity” is very prominent in collective conscious of the Arab mind. The common behavioral and rotational manifestations of psychiatric disorder were interpreted by many of us wrongly by referring them to metaphysical phenomena such as magic, evil eye, gin and many others. In turn people seek religious healers (most of them are Jerks and professional manipulators) to solve their problems rather than consulting a true professional help.”

Mostly, people in our eastern culture, prefer not to consult a psychiatrist for different “convincing” reasons-as they pointed out. M.S-21 years old emphasized “I would definitely refer to a psychiatrist, but the thing that’s stopping me is what would people say behind my back! ‘Is he Crazy!?!’”. A 21 years old girl, R.S- stressed the point of not referring to a psychiatrist due to the fact of our culture perceptions; “Not in this culture. People will think that I’m insane. This is how it’s perceived! It’s a fact.” Unfortunately, people will go on and adapt the rules our culture sets concerning this issue, as there is no other way out of this reality! Consequently, this matter will never be resolved as people are not trying to fix it, but rather, they are encouraging it indirectly and spontaneously.

Taking the two different extremes of this case we’ll see that most people prefer not consulting a psychiatrist due to the misconceptions our culture has. An 18 years old girl pointed out- O.D “For sure I would consult a trusted psychiatrist, but I would rather keep it confidential. Not because am ashamed of what am doing, but because most of the people here have some mistaken believes about it!” On the other hand, some people would adopt a different mechanism in resolving their depression and problems. B.Z- 20 years old “I am conservative when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. I manage my depression by myself.” Some people, and specially youth, tend to take counsel from their best friends rather than their parents. A 22 years old guy – R.J highlighted a critical point “I don’t need the advice of a professional psychiatrist, however, I would talk my problem over with my closest friend; who happen to be a girl, as I feel more comfortable when I speak out my thoughts to her instead of my guy friends.”

Some people go with the flow of the cultural stream, regardless of what are that culture’s restrictions. They apply it automatically; to be accepted in that culture and a way of adaptation. For instance, if they were living in a western culture for half of the year, they would go on with the traditions of that culture, however, as soon as they get surrounded with an eastern culture during the other half of the same year, they will flip to the other face of the coin and act differently. A girl who conducts her studies abroad stated “I’ve sought the assistance of a psychiatrist once back where I study in England, but I would never do it here in our country, as the stereotyping of such an issue is a killer by itself!!!” This is an issue to be seriously considered-the double standards of people’s actions.

Dr. Habashaneh stated that “The major thing we have to work on is to provide our people with intensive scientific information and to educate them about the wide spectrum of mental health and psychiatric disorders. Still I’m not too optimistic of achieving a fast progress in this regard. It needs a lot of efforts and time to reach our goals. Furthermore, it should be a comprehensive and long term educational process. The teachers with directed teaching curriculums, the family, the media and the religious persons have to participate seriously and to take their responsibilities in stressing the importance of mental health and the great consequences and benefits that we can get by reaching there.”

In conclusion, people have different perspectives when it comes to the consultancy of a psychiatrist. They tend to be more conservative and protective. Moreover, the major concern is how the people around you would perceive such a thing, and the limit of tolerance our culture has. Accordingly, most people prefer to choose the smoothest path; which is to stay on what they are struggling with, hiding the bitter reality and not having the courage to face their problems. God Gifted different people with different talents, among these are the gift of comforting stressed and depressed people, and this is why professional psychiatrists are found.

The Virtual Circle; In or Out?

Written in 2006... :)

In this complex world, with a population of nearly seven billions, you will surely meet people with different qualities, mentalities, values and cultures. However, at any road there is always an intersection point where common things meet. For some, this point is viewed as their home and where they find comfort, while others perceive it as a temporary bond with other people.

Differences among people create different Virtual Circles!

Diversity is a wide, yet, a deep concept which is encountered in our daily lives. Naturally, you will find people not like you who are with different backgrounds, religions, ethnicities, histories, skills, and perspectives. Although people are different, usually what brings people together is the shared concern about a specific case, a special interest in a field, or a belief. This is where virtual circles are formed in societies; some might be repelled while others are welcomed on a red carpet. This goes back to one’s personality, capacity of adaptation and sense of belonging. For instance, a community of anti-racism will repel a member who doesn’t believe that black and white people should be given equal opportunities. Such a person will not belong there, or excel and be useful to this community. Thus, he is OUT OF THE CIRCLE!

The need to belong somewhere!

By human instinct, a person always has the urge to be part of a circle, where one’s sense of belonging is well established and defined; a crucial aspect in one’s stability and sense of security. Some people reach this feeling through comprising; on the other hand, some people are smart enough to manage through using effective communication skills and social intelligence with the opposite parties. This is where tolerance takes place. At times we need to be tactful and open to maintain our relationships and get to common grounds. It is no doubt how people can survive in life’s jungles if such a quality was not realised. People need to give and take to reach an agreed spot.

Out of your comfort zone

“Everything you want is just out of your comfort zone” – Robert Allen
At times in order to be accepted in different circles, a person needs to get out of his comfort zone. Hence, a student who is conducting his studies abroad will come across other students with different cultures and values than his. Thus, for him, in order to outlast, he will tend to get out of his comfort zone and socialize with the different people to be recognized. In this case, getting out of your zone will make you uncomfortable and less secure, however, a person cannot live solely; people need to interact and get involved with each other even though they have different values. The issue here is not giving up your principles in order to be accepted by other parties, but it is the fact of manipulating your skills to serve the goal you are trying to reach, which is indulging in new circles.

One’s identity

Unfortunately, when some people don’t belong to any party or community, they lose part of their confidence. They are most likely to think of themselves as perceiving things wrongly or as weirdoes. For example, certain religious groups are not being represented in some European parliaments. Thus, this builds a sense of underestimation and low perception of one’s stability in the society they are living in. However, this doesn’t wipe their identity, as one purpose of belonging to a specific society is maintaining a coherent identity of the group.

Productivity and Usefulness

In each country there are different types of societies, for instance, societies are found for the less fortunate parties supporting and funding them, anti smoking campaigns educating people about smoking dangers and offering ways to quitting, rehabilitation centers for drug addicts, alcoholics and family violence and still more to be considered. All these are established to serve the goals which are settled for, however, the initiators and the members who are responsible for such campaigns and centers are being productive and useful, which in turn will give them a sense of satisfaction. Thus, when a person fit in a specific circle of his interest, it will aid in increasing one’s contentment, consequently will motivate him to excel more and increase his productivity.

Intuitively, a human being always seeks ways to prove oneself and be of value. We are not found in this universe for no reason. Everyone is born to be useful in a way. It is not necessarily to be productive in your society the same way your best mate, father, or professor is. But, each one has his own way of expressing and serving his skills, talents and thoughts, where if all combined and wisely utilized will take you to the top of the pyramid. Everyone has a shining fruit within, however, few are those who explore it and intelligently use it to add value to one’s society.

Body Image; a Media Slave!

Written in 2005... :)

Instinctively, a human being has been always easily tempted with sexual appearances and drawn smoothly with cultural restrictions and paradigms. However, few are those who stand still. Media, at all times, has been the driving agent to change people’s way of thinking and perspectives. It is the unconscious influencer of anytime. Apparently, media plays a crucial part in shaping the ideal body image of the time for men and women. With thin models and trendy celebrities are all what is shown on TV, movies and advertisements; people tend to get unsatisfied with their current body shape, which is leading some people to get seriously ill and depressed.

Media Strikes In

Sadly, some of today’s youth role models are the fake artificial attractive celebrities starting from Hayfa Wahbi and Nancy Ajram to Jad Choueri! With the increasing trend of singers with low quality voices and HIGH QUALITY looks, youth interests are increasingly becoming sex-oriented. The media sets unrealistic standards for what body weight and appearance is considered “normal.” Girls are being surrounded with the thought at a very young age that Barbie is how a woman should look; no fat at all but huge breasts! A study revealed that if a Barbie were life-size, she would stand 5’9” and weigh 110 lb. (only 76% of what is considered a healthy weight for her height). Her measurements would be 39-18-33, and she would not menstruate due to inadequate levels of fat on her body. Similarly, boys are given the impression that men naturally have muscles bulging all over their bodies. After all, there aren’t such realistic measurements for a normal human being. Body features in media are adjusted with lighting angles, computer techniques and props. Moreover, shapes are edited, yet, some images are completely computer generated! “In a study on 5th graders, 10 year old boys and girls told researchers they were dissatisfied about their own bodies after watching a music video by Britney Spears or a clip from the TV show ‘Friends’”.

Why are standards of Beauty imposed on Women?

If we focus a bit on the advertisements scattered all over the streets, magazines, banners, TV and the internet, we would observe almost all of them involve women’s body in a way for a more effective promotion. For instance, in the case of a cosmetics manufacturer, it is very influencing to present an ideal fit that is difficult to achieve and maintain which in return will ensure profits and growth. And it’s no accident that youth is increasingly promoted, along with thinness, as an essential criterion of beauty. Women who are afraid of aging and are insecure about their looks and bodies tend more to purchase beauty products and diet aids as well as new clothes. According to analysts, the abuse of women’s bodies and beauty in promotion are all based upon economical benefits.

Ideal Body Images in Media Affect Men Too!

Women are not the only party experiencing hard time with media influences! Men as well are passing through low self-worth due to the muscular attractive men shown in after-shave ads. A study conducted on 158 male college students who were asked to watch TV ads with very muscle-defined men. Results showed that men who viewed these commercials felt more unsatisfied and depressed compared to the students who watched the “moderate” ads. It was concluded that the “Ideal male body” picture in the media is connected to the negative feelings held by men toward their body image. Such feelings lead to depression and eating disorders. A research showed that poor body image among men has been on the rise.
Disordered Behaviors

Media has different influences and affections on people. However, most of all, it has a large effect on youth, especially during their maturity and teenage stage. They seek unhealthy and illegal ways to get the ideal fit of the time! For instance, too many young girls and women, who look up for today’s ultra-thin looks; starve themselves, over exercise, and even worse, use steroids! In addition, the latest civilized plastic surgeries ranging from nose jobs, botox to implants and a lot more, happen to have their own health risks. Other young women follow extreme eating disorders, such as anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating. All of these extreme efforts, including self induced vomiting, to gain the ideal looks and body shapes carry severe health problems in the long term.

Beauty and Attractiveness

It is becoming more of a fact that being “thin or muscular” is accompanied with being hard-working, successful, popular, beautiful, strong, and self-disciplined, while on the other hand, being “fat” is accompanied with being ignorant, hated, ugly, weak, and lacking will-power. Unfortunately, some people generalize and judge people based on their appearances, which must not be the case anywhere. Body size and shape certainly aid in physical attractiveness, however, they are not the only factors. Personality, charisma, social settings, way of talking, welcoming posture and a friendly smile are who attract people to each other at the first place. Weight is not the problem in here nor is dieting the answer! Happiness comes from within, and in order to get a satisfied life with a high spirit a person should stop comparing oneself to others. A person should nurture his soul with healthy relationships, communication and meditation. Consequently, once the inner happiness and satisfaction are found, it will result in better self-care of the external body leading to healthier eating and physical activity trends.

JORDANIAN YOUTH; BOOSTING THE TREND OF A DYNAMIC NATION!

Written in 2006 - Recap...

Youth under the age of 30 makes 70% of Jordan’s population, where they are the future of our country and the hot target today! Great Minds are the driving agents of change and innovation, yet, they are the key to a nation’s prosperity. Therefore, His Majesty King Abdullah and Her Majesty Queen Rania are focusing on building a brighter future for our youth through different initiatives and projects. “King Abdullah and the Jordanian government aim to transform Jordan into an innovative model of development. By spearheading educational reform and encouraging investment our dreams can, and will be, realized.” as her Majesty stated.


The Royal Initiatives

If Jordan is well known for a resource, it must be its human resource. Jordan is a youthful country, which allows a great emphasis on investing in its young population to flourish the country’s economy and future. Hence, His Majesty King Abdullah and Her Majesty Queen Rania sat up a vision and a strategy for replenishing youth and formed related initiatives.

For instance, the King’s and Queen’s nationwide initiative to introduce computers and Information Technology into schools across Jordan and to incorporate their use into the educational system, which complements King Abdullah’s IT initiative. Also, Her Majesty Queen Rania Al-Abdullah hosted the first joint annual meeting for the Advisory Council and board of directors of World Links Arab Region (WLAR) – a program which aims to improve educational outcomes, economic opportunities and mutual global understanding for youth in developing countries through the use of technology and the Internet.
One of King Abdullah II's priorities is boosting the benefits of technology into the national educational process. Legislation has already been passed requiring all public schools to offer English from the first grade and computers from the second grade up until their last year in high school. Currently, all secondary schools in Jordan have fully equipped computer labs, and ADSL connectivity has reached over 600 of Jordan's 3000 public schools. A national e-learning strategy has been articulated by the efforts of the Ministry of Education. The strategy is being implemented now.

On a higher educational level, the Ministry of Education will also be developing a learning portal for all Jordanians. Universities are teaming up with IT industry multinationals to provide certification programs for their students. For example, Sun Microsystems has nominated Sumaya University to become the first authorized Academic Sun Education Center in the Middle East. Similar initiatives are underway between various Jordanian universities and Cisco systems, Microsoft, Oracle and HP.

In early 2002, Queen Rania joined the Board of Directors of the International Youth Foundation, based in Baltimore, Maryland, in the United States. She joins a distinguished group of business, government, and civil society leaders from across the globe to support the work of one of the world’s largest public foundations helping young people learn basic life skills and get the education, training, and opportunities they need to succeed.

If we grasp a closer look on the international events taking place in Jordan for the past years, we would notice the involvement of youth in every event. This is achieved through the collaboration of youth NGOs and associations, such as King Abdullah Fund for Development (KAFD), INJAZ and Young Entrepreneurs Association (YEA). For instance, at the World Economic Forum session, held at the Dead Sea, titled “Youth and Entrepreneurship”, where representative youth from the Kingdom were invited, our youth spoke so fluently and intelligently about ideas that were in harmony with His Majesty’s vision. Also, in May 2005 Her Majesty Queen Rania and First Lady Laura Bush met with a group of our youth to discuss educational and technological issues. Yet, upon his visit to Jordan last October, Bill Gates was delighted to meet representative Jordanian youth in a special session entitled “In the Eyes of the Youth”. And on a higher level, His Majesty King Abdullah continuously engage youth in international forums held abroad.

An Observed FACT! …

All of such initiatives and projects contribute to the trend of young managers, who are still in their twenties, young universities instructors, and the increased trend of youth conducting higher studies, where at some points now; a bachelor degree is not good enough for a job in the business sector and apparently not for an academic position. It is being observed that the standards for any placement in the market have risen as the competition between the applying applicants is levitating. This is one of the reasons why a huge number of youth are eager to pursue higher studies to secure a distinguished career path.

The Trend of Young Managers:

Today, and more than ever, Jordan is witnessing a flow of ambitious and young managers in the Jordanian industry. This is justified by the royal vision of developing youth by providing them with NGOs and initiatives to qualify them for the market. Let alone the observed eagerness of today’s youth to work hard and smartly grabbing opportunities. Yet, being exposed internationally; by reading financial and business magazines; such as The Economist, Forbes, surfing the web, interacting with international CEOs by e-forums and attending international conferences is aiding in changing today’s youth to become up-to-date with the market needs and in learning from high ranking international companies experiences. However, reading and learning are not the only tools to make successful managers and executives; on that, Rami Malki, 29 years, Head of Corporate Finance says “Being realistic and keeping grounds is a virtue of successful executives around the globe, a title never made its holder a success story, it is what you deliver and not what you say you do. Also having the soul of an entrepreneur helps.”

Sally Shahin – 28 years is the Quality and Business Development Manager at Manaii Auto Group based in Qatar, formerly the Premium Channel Manager at Abu Khader Service Center, gained her bachelor degree from Jordan University for Science and Technology in “Heavy Equipment Mechanical Engineering”. Apparently, this is not a very favored study for girls. However, she excelled at it perfectly and reached high ranks in her work. “My gender at occasions stood as an obstacle; often I wanted to apply for certain jobs I found interesting, jobs that unfortunately preferred the male gender or restricted the application to it. On the other hand; getting people to believe in you and disregard your gender, age and modest experience at times were among the challenges; ones that were the driving force to reach higher, work harder and seek more knowledge.”

On the other hand, Julian Noursi– 29 years old, Marketing & Special Events Manager at Romero Group, had a total different experience; “Being a female gives me a plus especially in the hospitality and events sector. Although Jordan is a male dominant society, but as I advised earlier, “never victimize yourself” always think that you can do it no matter what your gender is or what the society constraints are. Obstacles are everywhere but I do not believe that it is based on gender”. This shows that our Jordanian youth are hardworking and determined to reach their goal and achieve success, as Sally highlighted “ Success is when really knowing that you gave it your very best and are content with the outcome, aim for perfection and you'll probably land close enough.”

Young University Instructors Boom!

On the contrary to the marketplace, we can’t deny the trend of young university instructors’ boom. This trend is justified by the “internal recruitment” Human Resource Management strategies adopted by several Jordanian universities as Wael Abu Gharbieh- 25 years, an instructor at Yarmouk University cleared out. It is a well known fact that Universities are no more an attractive workplace to youth compared to the tempting offers and higher salaries at the marketplace nowadays; nevertheless, we find some youth in their early 30’s long to join the academic sector despite their high professionalism skills and experience to support their PhD’s.

Out of this fact, Jordanian universities started recruiting their own students who have outstanding and very good records at their early twenties before they are drawn by the spark of the business sector! “Universities were heading to a decline phase, and critically needed fresh youth blood” as Wael stressed out.

Is it a “Yes” or “No” for Young Instructors?

Some people are not encouraging the idea of having a young instructor in his/her twenties educating students of his/her own generation, while others view it as a plus! Ruba Ja’afari- 25 years, an instructor at University of Jordan, emphasizes “Being young with a relatively close age to my students, allowed me to understand how they think during the class discussions.”

Wael elaborates “When it comes to universities in Jordan, things might seem complicated more than they seem. Both professors and students complain always from the gap that exists between the two parties of the academic equation; the students and professors. I explain further, the two parties belong to two different and distinct generations; each has its own set of values. While professors claim that students are irresponsible, students fire back by claiming that professors are conservative. Clearly the two sides speak different languages. However, fulfilling my current position at my early youth years gave me a different perspective, a perspective that enabled me to work as a liaison between the two parties. I simply look to things from the two sides’ perspectives, as I am able to speak both languages.”

However, from a non-academic perspective, Obaida Fares- 28 years, Manager of the Regional office of “Democrats Network in the Arab World”, and the Regional Manager of “Center for the Study of Islam and Democracy” explains: “The moral doesn’t lie behind the age of an instructor, but in the amount of knowledge an instructor has to give. It is very likely for young instructors in their twenties to excel more than older ones. Some young instructors build on their modest experience and knowledge by learning from older experienced people, or through educating themselves more, attending trainings, seminars and reading. Yet, the continuous follow up on the latest advancement of one’s field contributes to the instructor’s acquaintance.”

Jordanian youth capabilities:

Wael believes, as he is in a daily interaction with today’s youth that “Achievements, ambitions, capabilities and abilities, you name it. Jordanian youths got it all, yet, need direction. Taking responsibility of their own lives is what most of university students lack; they think about university life as a phase to enjoy, yet, they miss the fact it is a phase to develop personality, knowledge and skills in order to be able to join the business environment when they do graduate. In short, balance is the key for success; students need to balance between enjoying and working during their university life”. Moreover, due to Ruba’s everyday dealings with University students, she elaborates “Today’s youth are smart, and I do not mean by smart being able to gain high grades only. They have the thirst to learn, and they are willing to try new methods in learning. They have high degree of self confidence that may sometimes reach to vainglory”.

As Her Majesty Queen Rania highlighted during her interview with Oprah Winfrey “You can change the course of a nation through education”. This shows education as a core value in expanding youth capacities. However, sadly some students at their University life disregard the education they are obtaining and deal with it as if a compulsory life task, specially for those who are specializing in a major they didn’t choose and don’t like! They are missing the fact that education is part of personality building formula which in the long term aids in forming a more civilized nation. “I believe that the more the person is educated; the better he/she should be able to communicate with people from different backgrounds and educational levels. Education is never only about degrees, I believe that it should also cultivate the personality” as Ruba stated. However, Rami emphasizes that it is not solely the youth’s responsibility to maintain strong abilities, he says “Today, we have a few capable Jordanian youth, but unfortunately sometimes the lack of sharp and intelligent environments to enhance such capabilities might play a negative role in maintaining and growing such assets.”

Obstacles:

Despite the great accomplishments drawn by our youth at the marketplace and the high ranks achieved, there are some obstacles which stand in some of youth’s way. For some, it is the high requirements of today’s market, while for others it is the lack of will and a strategy to follow, and for a third party it might be a lack of guidance from wise experienced people and a short of self discipline and not discovering one’s self. However, such drawbacks must not be blamed on the marketplace, as it is the person’s task to plan, work hard, discover his own capabilities, and improve one’s skills to reach the high standards of today’s jobs. Yet, the marketplace is bursting with job opportunities, but they are waiting for the right people to clutch them! Sally points out “Opportunities are there to grab for those equipped with the right tools and the Jordanian market growth rate is among the highest in the region, I am not saying it’s easy but it is worth the effort.”

Obaida elaborates on this issue “Jordanian youth are surrounded with plenty of opportunities which allow them to develop their skills and abilities; a new educational system is being introduced at schools and universities, and there are many training openings, where a lot of our Arabic communities lack. The problem lies behind the blindness of our youth to such opportunities, or more specifically, they avoid them as they are unaware of the value such chances contribute for their future.” Yet, Obaida thinks that there is a very crucial aspect which needs to be highlighted; “The main obstacle faced by our youth is their lack of knowledge of the market needs and conditions. In addition to accepting the so- called fact ‘the scarcity of job openings in our market’, yet, some youth are still inside the stereotyping bubble of the necessity to work at the public sector, or only doing routine office work which limits their flexibility and advancement in their career life.”

However, on a personal level, the real obstacles that might be facing our youth today as Wael highlighted “Distraction is one; some people are easily distracted and sucked by the day to day activities, to the extent they forget their vision and the key goal they seek to accomplish; they win battles, but lose the war! Conversely, on a systematic level; “Bureaucracy, hypocrisy and resistance of change are also obstacles which might hold our youth back. Every single change needs a champion of change, and the sole fact about champions of change; ‘things are not easy as they may seem.’” Nonetheless, Rami believes that there is a toll on the youth’s side to recognize how their own perception of things affect their way in dealing with their surroundings, he justifies “They have to realize that every phase in their lives has its own relevant issues, and that they usually see the world through their eyes. Yet, once you enter the market your perspectives towards many issues change, they will learn that flexibility and social intelligence are extremely important.”

Planning:

Ruba has been always a tactful planner; yet, she emphasizes the great efforts our country contributes in fostering opportunities for our youth; “Working according to a plan means working in a scientific and systematic way, and the ability to work in such an organized manner was the leading factor to the position I am fulfilling now. Circumstances played an important role as well. Growing in a country that offers great opportunities for its youth and the superb academic atmosphere surrounding me had their great impact on my progression. Planning future is very important. However, before planning future, it is important to ask yourself about the work you like to do, is it beneficial for my society and for me? How? And why am I learning? Answering these questions will very much simplify planning your future.”

On the other hand, Wael is one of the highly motivated Jordanian youth and had planned his career path long ago he was conducting his undergraduate studies “I am fulfilling the current position as a result of well established career and life plan. I have developed my academic and career life during my junior bachelor degree year, as I knew where I will be during the year 2006, as early as the year 2000.”

According to Rami, our culture plays a role in forming a coherent sense of planning to our youth, he explains: “Long term planning is key to success, maybe our youth are not brought up to plan on the long run because it's not a best practice in our culture, however, making the past our school, being realistic about our present, and planning our future are all keys to success.”
His Majesty’s vision for a better Jordan states; “I believe in my people Jordanians, who built achievements of the past, can and will work for a better future. A future that is based on true capabilities and economic opportunities.” Her Majesty confirms his Majesty’s vision during ‘Youth and Entrepreneurship’ session of the World Economic Forum; "My point is, the most precious aspects of youth are not tied to ages or stages. Preserving them doesn’t mean clinging to the past – it means embracing the future.” Their Majesties’ efforts to improve and develop Jordan’s future lie heavily on its golden resource; youth. If not strategically guided and taken care of, the future of our nation will not flourish; economically, socially and politically. Youth are part of our country’s infrastructure and investment prospects, thus, empowering them will thrive our nation.

A planner or Flow Walker?

Written in 2004... Remincising... :)

Have you ever thought of where are you in this life? What are you doing? Have you ever wondered what your purpose is? Or maybe asked yourself: what do I like, want and where I want to be ten years from now? Did you ever get this cycle of questions?

Realising Your Ambition:

Instinctively, as we notice in kids; they always say what they want to be when they grow up. Some wants to be a doctor, others a teacher, while some wishes to be a Hollywood star! However, once they get into the teenage phase, some of these ambitious kids get distracted by life pleasures and forget all about their future and career. Specifically at this phase, a teenage guy or girl is building a coherent base for his/her personality. If his personality gets slightly deviated, it will affect and retard his progress in the next phase of his life to build a respectful future. Every person has a fruit within which for some has not been discovered yet. This might be due to several reasons; parents’ awareness and guidance must be increased.

Life Transitions:

A person passes through different transitions. Every transition is a complement to the one before it. For instance, after high school, students move to a higher phase called University or College life. However, upon the admission to university, the student must make a decision on what major to specialize in. Sadly, a huge percentage of students go with the flow; whatever the university allocates for them or whatever their parents decide on their behalf to study. It’s true that the student’s Tawjihi GPA plays a role in determining one’s acceptance in a major, but still a person must be the decider of his own choice! On the other hand, it is always beneficial to consult wiser experienced people to support your decision and then study the options you have and move on with your plan.

D.Y – 24 years explains “I was accepted to specialize in biology at JU after Tawjihi. I directly accepted it as honestly it didn’t matter for me which major to study. However, at my third year I discovered that this is not what I want! I found myself in media field and started taking courses and trainings to educate myself in that field. Now, I am working for a media company. I’m glad I discovered my path of interest while I’m still at university and not later, because the later you realize your interests, the later you will progress.”

Planning:

A plan is known as setting short or long term goals and objectives. And in our case, is setting up your life goals and objectives. The key to a successful career and life is firstly to know what you really want and what you are good at, then to determine the path you want to walk through. At that moment, you can set up your goals and the plan of action which you’ll stick to.

On the contrary, for some they emphasize that life circumstances got them to where they are now. However, that’s a luck shot, which they can’t stay relying on as it may fool them. Thus, a smart planner makes use of life circumstances and opportunities to his best interest and to serve the determined goals. Being a flow walker is out of a successful person life. Draw your own path!

Getting out of your Bubble:

As soon as you are born, you are restricted to a certain environment and lifestyle offered by your family. When you are a kid, you will be living in your parents’ territory; fully depending on them. However, once you get mature you’ll have to realize life challenges and obstacles, which will lead you to determine a lifestyle of your own within the well known norms. Few are those who get out of their bubble to be the managers and leaders of themselves. O.H – 19 years “I recommend every young person to experience living independently on their own whether it was abroad or within their country. Because, this will enrich their life experiences, yet, being internationally exposed will aid in making young persons thinking on the edge, and getting more mature.”

Where are you now from your plans?

Evaluating your progress in achieving your goals is an indicator to show you where you are now and how much do you have ahead. A.M – 22 years “In a narrow level, I always carry my agenda in my bag and jot down my to-do-list the day before. It allows me to be more organized and focused. On a higher level, I have a long term plan knowing what I want to achieve in five years period. It has been a year since I realized my ambition and since then I am in a continuous evaluation of my performance. It’s paying back well! ”.

Internet Protocol connectivity costs to drop by 15% as of June 1

By Mohammad Ghazal

AMMAN - The Jordan Telecom Group (JTG) will reduce Internet Protocol (IP) connectivity costs for Internet Service Providers (ISP) by 15 per cent as of June 1, according to JTG CEO Mickael Ghossein.

End-users should expect a drop in Internet prices based on reductions by individual ISPs, he said, pointing out that the 15 per cent cut will decrease the cost of services to ISPs by 30 per cent.

IP connectivity represents a significant part of any ISP’s current costs.

The 15 per cent cut brings the total reduction since the beginning of 2007 to 70 per cent, Ghossein told reporters at a press conference on Thursday.

JTG, the country’s main IP connectivity provider, has a 50 per cent market share through Orange Internet.

Ghossein said the cut in IP connectivity prices is meant to enable ISPs to reduce prices for end-users and thus increase the number of people using the Internet.

Internet penetration currently stands at 26 per cent, according to Ministry of Information and Communications Technology figures, and the government seeks to increase it to 50 per cent by the end of 2011 through the implementation of the National ICT Strategy, which was launched in 2007.

"The cut gives ISPs a good margin to reduce their prices to end-users," said Jawad Abbasi, founder and chairman of Arab Advisers Group.

"It is also designed to increase the competitiveness of ADSL as there are alternatives to it now such as Wimax," Abbasi told The Jordan Times in a phone interview yesterday.

Meanwhile, JTG Wholesale Marketing Director Wesal Balasmeh noted that the group is connected to the Internet in Europe and North America through four physically separate routes, noting that a fifth "high" capacity route will be operational soon to back up the others.

"The fifth route will enable us to reduce prices further," Ghossein said, adding that when it is operational, ISPs are expected to increase the download capacities offered to their clients.

During the press conference, Ghossein said he expected a drop in telecom sector growth in 2009 in light of the global financial crisis and the competition in the market.

"Revenues of telecoms are decreasing in general and the growth in Internet does not make up for the decrease in telecom," he said.

Never Satisfied with what you have? Think deeply...

I was on my way to a business meeting; during which a view quote my eye. I usually look around me when I am driving, and YES, I DO HOLD MY CAMERA ALWAYS in my bag :) for getting a shot that cannot be traded...

So, while I was parking the car, a view quote my eye which is as the picture shows above...

Such a view made me wonder and think... while we are sitting on our desk at work, working on our laptop, having our daily hot morning coffee/tea, checking our outlook early morning once we arrive to work, then check our to do list of the day; "soooo, what have I got for the day?", then crushing in the day and starting your work, calling up people on your mobile phone or actually your solo desk phone to set up meetings, which are actuallyheld in an air conditioned meeting room equiped with a video conferencing facility... Then once we finish our meeting, we return back to our comfy orange seat, we get back to business, continue working while we are not actually feeling the heat and humidity of the weather outside, BECAUSE the office is air conditioned; however, then we go on complaining.. "Maaan, it is very cold, and it is hitting on my back, for god's sake, can you just increase the temperature a bit".. then your colleague goes on raising up the temp until it is satisfactory to all...

THEN, comes the nicest piece of all.. how spoiled are our staff...

Hey, there is no sugar today? Hey, there is no cafe mate! Hey, there is no Nescafe today...!! So what!!! Cant you have a cup of camomile today instead of coffee? cant you have a cup of tea today instead of Nescafe? CANT YOU HAVE A BLACK COFFEE WITHOUT CAFE MATE FOR THE DAY??...

We are such a spoiled nation...

Then, I drift away thinking of that man situated on the crane, fixing the phone or electricity lines... FOR US to have our laptops, conditions and lights on while we are working, FOR US, to have a cold and hot water cooler to DRINK from, FOR US, to speak over the phone...

I am aware that each and every person build his own future and contributes to his own career development through his hardwork, passion towards work, planning ahead, being a bit of risk taker as well, crossing the lines and getting out of your comfort zone; HOWEVER, being humble and thinking of other people while you are working gives you a GREAT FREAKIN' REMINDER of thanking GOD where you are now and THAT there are people who are with worse job than yours...

It is by human nature that a "man; i.e. human" is greedy.. and always looking forward for more and more and more... never gets enough... however, there are those people who are really considerate of others, humble and down to earth, thinks of others while they are still focused on them selves and goals... and THOSE EXACTLY who sustain and do not fall off their seats as they rise... since their feet are firmly on the ground... to be better communicated, REALISTIC...

So, are you thanking God for such a blessing you are in?

Everytime you feel frustrated, out of your mind, bored and feel like killing your colleague next door because you are no longer standing your job... THINK AGAIN.. AND REMEMBER THE PICTURE ABOVE...

No one made it up the ladder and reached the summit without hard work and starting from scratch...

Peace out....

Roland Garros - The French Open!!

So, who will win this French Open?

Is it Nadal the smart young player; who won it for 4 consecutive times;

OR

Is it Roger Federer; before he retires from Tennis Playing?

TBC

Tragedy of the Muslim mind

By Dr Muzaffar Iqbal

The public space in the Muslim world is dominated by those who have received education of a kind that has no rooting in the intellectual tradition of Islam. This is true, by and large, of the entire traditional lands of Islam. As a result of this education, most Muslims are uprooted from that enchanting intellectual realm which once used to produced men and women of the highest calibre. These giants of yesteryears are now foreign names to their modern-day heirs; no one knows what they wrote, how they integrated their faith with everything they did, and how they perceived the world from the prism of Divinely revealed religion which guided all aspects of their being.This severance is most visible in lands where the impact of colonisation has been the strongest: Pakistan, Egypt, the Central Asian republics, the Muslim lands of the Far East. But even in the relatively insulated exceptions (Iran and Turkey being the most obvious examples), modern education has done exactly what it is meant to do: create a bifurcation of the mind. Thus, this world and the next world become two separate entities in the Muslim mind. This division of the mind, which is, in fact, merely a consequence and not the cause, manifests itself at various levels of existence--from daily interactions with other human beings to financial transactions, and from beliefs and ideas to attitudes and outward appearances.This division has produced strange phenomena: apparently pious, observant believers are known to indulge in all kinds of fraudulent activities; even the religious leadership, whether political or social or both, is often corrupt to the core when it comes to matters which are deemed to be of this world. Thus divided against itself, the Muslim mind is now a living tragedy. A very large majority of educated Muslims live in an intellectual wasteland of confusion and anarchy. There is hardly any internal clarity on most basic aspects of life.The most fundamental cause of this tragedy is the alienation of the mental world from the Islamic tradition at various levels: from spiritual to intellectual, and from emotional to experiential. Even those who have some facility with the two primary sources of Islam--the Qur'an and the Sunnah--are not exempted from this internal division, although there are exceptions in this regard. This alienation, and the consequent internal split, has come into existence through a historical process that pushed into the background a living tradition of production and dissemination of knowledge. This tradition started to falter sometime in the sixteen century and by the time of European Scientific revolution of the seventeenth century, there were obvious signs of its disappearance. But this is in retrospect. A sort of false pride and arrogance continued to dominate the Muslim intellectual landscape well into the late eighteenth century when it finally woke up with the rude clamping of European military might at its door steps. The rest, as they say, is history.The tragedy that unfolded in the Muslim world during its colonization has no precedent in their history. The entire system of life and living, a centuries-old methodological way of existence, was wiped out by the colonizers. Institutions and rituals, rites of passage and cultural and social norms were destroyed; even the integral link with the language of the Qur'an was severed. As a result of a systematic and well-executed social engineering, the entire Muslim world was reduced to a level of subsistence dominated by a deep-seated inferiority complex.As a result, the educated classes now grow up with a living tragedy: these men and women know and firmly believe that Islam is the true religion, based on the two veritable sources, which remain uncorrupted, but their personal choice of being a Muslim remain tragically thinly grounded in any intellectual realm. What they know in the deepest recesses of their being, and what they believe from the core of their hearts, has no counterpart in the intellectual realm. Thus, their ideas and ideals, their thoughts and actions, their emotional attachments and their behaviour often remain firmly entrenched in the secular contemporary modernity, which is a complete anti-thesis of what Islam is all about.This tragedy is being lived everyday by millions of Muslims all over the world. It has created a hunger for Islam's intellectual tradition, which is based on the two primary sources. But most educated Muslim are not able to drink from this fountain because they simply do not know how to read Ibn Kathir or Hamid al-Ghazali, or Ibn Qayyam al-Jawzi, even if they have a translated text in their hands. The training they receive at educational institutions does not equip them with intellectual tools to read these texts and benefit from insights of these keen minds.What they have, as a result, is a mental confusion of the highest order. The remedy to this tragic state of existence is, of course, a thorough grounding in Islam's formidable intellectual tradition, but this cannot happen until and unless one unlearns what one has learned through one's education and experience, and this requires a courage very few find in themselves. Thus the tragedy continues to unfold in so many realms of the personal and collective lives of Muslims on a daily basis, all over the world.

A Hike at Wadi Al Himara

Soooooo.. Friday was a long enjoyable hike at Al Himara Valley; situated at the north-east coast of Dead Sea (Jordan).

Al Himara Valley is well know to have the longest waterfall in Jordan which is 120 meter long. Please find a picture of the waterfall view from the top.

To speak out a bit about my reflections of the valley; i loved the fact that I am away on the wilderness.. feeling the water falling on my back while sitting under the waterfall, climbing up the mountain... getting dirty while crossing your way through the stream while you can see baby frogs, frogs and crabs around you in the water.. feeling FREEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM while you are standing under the heavy waterfall; AHHHHHH!!.. I just loveee nature, i love the beach, I love extreme sports, feeling the adrenalin rush through my veins and body! UH!!!

I will leave you with a brief about it:

"Two spectacular cascades, each of over 80 meters high constitute the outstanding features of Wadi Himara. Remember that 80 meters is about the height of a 25 storey building! The new road from Hammamet Ma'in to the Dead Sea crosses this Wadi fairly high up and now provides good access while omitting the rather dull beginning. The wadi is some 5kms long and will need about 6 hours. It can be walked without the abseiling, but you lose the most exciting part!Wadi Himara is a wonderful canyon for people who enjoy abseiling and exciting water canyons. You begin with two small waterfalls (each about 15 meters) and after the first big waterfall (about 80 meters), you have a narrow canyon which needs about 30 minutes.

Two more "small" abseils and an enjoyable water slide bring you to the "big one".

This second huge waterfall has a wonderful approach between two tall reddish sandstone pillars, each 50 meters high.

A most spectacular gateway to the highest waterfall in Jordan!"

A snapshot of one of "On Identity" Book pages...

"My Identity is what prevents me from being identical to anybody else."

"Defined this way the word identity reflects a fairly precise idea - one which in theory should not give rise to confusion. Do we really need lengthy arguments to prove that there are not and cannot be two identical individuals? Even if in the near future someone manages, as we fear they may, to "clone" human beings, the clones would at best be identical only at the time of their "birth"; as soon as they started to live they would start being different."

"Each individual's identity is made up of a number of elements, and these are clearly not restricted to the particulars set down in official records. Of Course, for the great majority these factors include allegiance to a religious tradition; to a nationality - sometimes two; to a profession, an institution, or a particular social milieu. But the list is much longer than that; it is virtually unlimited. A person may feel a more or less strong attachement to a province, a village, a neighbourhood, a clan, a professional team or connected with sport, a group of friends, a union, a company, a parish, a community of people with the same passions, the same sexual preferences, the same physical handicaps, or who have to deal with the same kind of pollution or other nuisance."

"It can happen that some incident, a fortunate or unfortunate accident, even a chance encounter, influences our sense of identity more strongly than any ancient affiliation."

These grabbed my attention as they spoke out my mind... It makes sense!!!

"On Identity" Book.

By: Amin Maalouf

A Job: is just another form of marriage...!

TBC

Marriage: Another form of partnership

TBC

Birth Planning...

TBC

Parents Vs. Grown up children

TBC

So true!

Failure keeps you humble...
success keeps you glowing...
But only faith & attitude keeps you going...

[Anonymous]

The Veil (Al-Hejab) - Reality Unveiled

Al Hejab... is it an obligation or a preference?

Life and history enclosed different eras of time. Each era required a certain lifestyle, a certain culture and a certain mind set. For instance,

"Al Nakba" - 1948

The impact of recession on HR Function and Professionals

Curently, the whole of the economic system is passing through a trembling stage, which is making the whole world shivering seeking peace of mind and stability as they have no tangible assurances in their hands except for the economic analysts expectations; which we are not even sure of.

In the world economic history, there have been two big recessions; in 1940’s post world war II, and 1980’s. Sadly, such an impact becomes the ruling power and we become the slaves for it; manipulating our companies procedures, expenditures and budgets around it. On the contrary, such recessions give the market the opportunity to reveal its real players; those who can stand still in the middle of the storm. As we are all aware, it is really easy to excel in a boom; during which the money runs as smoothly as champagne; however, after which the champagne will have to dry out once the economy system is busted!

To elaborate a bit, at such a phase, there are two sides of the coin; either the CEO will show their savvy skills and impress their boards and take their companies to the next level; OR, unfortunately, the company will start its ride down to hell. It is the CEO's opportunity to deliver real time solutions in such an era of change.

And as such, CEOs will have to reacquaint themselves with the basics of macroeconomics, and deliver micro-strategies to maintain their companies’ competitive edge. And they must do this within the parameters of good corporate governance, sticking to their mission and managing ethically. Therefore, executives should hold firmly during such a ride!!

During such a critical phase, as much as the Human Resources function is needed and due to the importance of keeping the human capital in a specific state of mind; by which eliminating the fear of losing their jobs; ironically, the tangible elements of such a function; i.e. salaries, raises and bonuses, training and development and social events are all firstly thought of when it comes to cutting down costs! And on an executive level, logically speaking, the large executive pay packages are being reconsidered and controlled.

During a recession, companies tend to implement conservative plans on all aspects; such as freezing recruitment. Furthermore, upon freezing hiring, there will be no need for relaying on recruitment agencies; such as executive search, junior search, screening candidates, interviewing them and then recommending them. This will be percieved as a total extra cost if not a complimentary one.

Certainly, at such a time the turnover rate will get lower, as any staff member who resigns or gets terminated, most probably, will not be replaced by any other. This is part of the conservative plans managements set and implement; however, on the contrary, the management does not actually consider the psychological effect this has on the rest of the staff members. Hence, the extra work load that will be assignd to the rest of the staff members due to the resignation of an employee which consequently will fire back on the management due to the frustration of the staff. Employees will become dissatisfied and demotivated.

Such a phase sometimes makes you think, is this the opportunity for some employers to make use of such a recession to cut down costs and increase revenues by manipulating their employees psychological statuses, and strictly specifying that there are no salary increases this year? Which by then, impressing the CEO’s board! Bang!! Another credit in the managers’ pockets!

As a matter of fact, focusing on the intangible aspects of the HR function for leveraging and motivating the employees; and for nourishing the psychological side of the employees is a crucial point for the management to consider; as "People" are the very important asset of any and every business. Without the human capital the business will not operate, decisions will not be made, tools will not be built, a culture will not be there, equipments will not be installed and constructed. Therefore, people are the driving agent of any island, sector, industry, company or business. So, you should hold on tight to them if they deemed deserving.

When it comes to cutting down costs during a recession, one of the things that a CEO thinks of is cutting down the costs of training & development. Although if we take a deep look into training, it is one of the most essential tools in polishing the staff’s skills, which consequently will be reflected on the productivity of the business and the job performance.

On another note, some companies are giving their staff the axe and making them choose, whether to lay you off or any of your colleagues, or not granting any salary increases this year. On the other hand, some companies think of it as a win-win situation, they are not laying off any one, but decreasing everyone's pay, and accordingly decreasing their costs. Which as a matter of fact opposes the labor law.

During the G20 summit, President Barack Obama defined a limit for the CEO’s bonus pay; which is a maximum of $5,000. However, they are hoping that payroll reductions in the second quarter of this year won't be as deep as the roughly 685,000 average monthly job losses in the January-March period. Let us keep our fingers' crossed!!

Basically, the ones who are being laid off are the ones who proved to be expendable and most costly!! As well as based on the following:

1) If people are in their probationary periods; less than 6 months, they were laid off!
2) The highest paid people in the departments were laid off
3) National employees are kept in

Mostly who is getting fired are only getting the 1 month severance pay; which is their indemnity for serving one year and their un-used holidays; so they are not taking anything more than what they are due for!! So no real compensation to such termination for a reason they have not contributed to.

Other companies are giving their employees two notes:

1) Resignation note without specifying the reason
2) Termination note also without specifying the reason

So employees are given the freedom of choice between the two. Where in reality both of them are considered firing; however the first note is only a friendly one.

Earlier on, it was taking people 2 months to search and get a new job if they were being laid off, however now, within such hard economical crisis, with no doubt people will need an eternity to find new jobs!

Further, with the recession, a lot of restructuring has taken place; downsizing departments as much as 60% across the board. And thus, the HR has a double standard role to play in such a case; the first is laying off people, and the second is rebuilding and restructuring the company. HR professionals are and should be a manipulative character!

Further, for multinational companies, and for the remotely dispersed organizations, where ever there are two people doing the same job or have the same position, at a time of a recession, one of those two has to be laid off! This to cut down the costs and therefore, will shift that department or that load of work to one person situated in one country. It is actually a logical solution to do, however, it might lead to a lower quality job. therefore, businesses have to equate their positions and organizational structures with the current economic environment in order to remain competitive in the absence of better times.

The "Ring"!

We exchange the vows....He says "I DO" and then i say "I DO"... then, we exchange rings.. and he gives me a kiss on my forehead.. followed by a soft kiss on the lips..



The rings are settled in both fingers.. the left hand side.. close to the heart.. to never be apart.. to be there for each other in joy and sorrow.. till death sets us apart.... are these such perfect ideal vows? a Play? ... Well, i have seen couples implementing such vows and mean them till really death sets them apart, while on the other hand, I have seen couples who are faking the hell out of it.... The man cheating on his wife, and the wife cheating on her husband...



Once that ring is situated on that finger at that exact moment... it has a different meaning than any other ring you might wear!... it is heavier on the finger, maybe? becuase it has value.. it is a symbol of first and foremost:

** Commitment **

A random conversation between a young single lady and a somehow oldish guy in his very very early 40's which I have witnessed the other day at a school (not showing his left hand yet; behind his back):



Lady: sooo, is that your daughter? you do not seeem a dad with a daughter... you are too young for being a dad... (a soft sigh)

The man: oh well, this is my oldest daughter, and I am always worried about her and want her to ace her classes!

Lady: I am sure she is as smart as her dad! so, umm, with sweet eyes looks...

The man (taking his left hand off of his back, trying to take off his Bvlgari sun glasses placing them above his head, then crossing hands on the front of his chest where his platin ring is flashing like a sunray on his left hand): Well, I better be going now, my wife is waiting for us for a lunch party with our friends at home.

The lady: oh sure. (Then talking to the daughter), you are such a lovely young girl..take good care of your dad! (then exchanging looks with the dad).



Well, I AM SUCH AN OBSERVANT! I love to observe what is around me without making poeple feel it...

The Young lady is such a hottie... and the father is hot as well at his age... What prevented the dad of going any further is actually his commitment to his wife and family... and the fact his daughter is in front of him standing.. although she seems to be 5th or 6th grader (still i always say this generation of children are more aware of life issues than other generations)... PLUS... his indirect message and body language of showing her the ring and his answer... didnt even stop the lady from hitting and flirting with that man... Well, this is quite natural.. it happens in day to day basis around us... doesn't it? It might be that he liked his money.. but i used this story to reflect on the article's point!

Speaking of this, it happen that we have another ring as well to be mentioned in here which is "MEN"!



Women have TWO rings to own; one is static which is the one placed on the left hand, and the other one is variable; i.e. MEN!

Women can have men as RINGS in their hands.. it is just SO FREAKINGLY EASY to manipulate a man, Gosh.. TRUST ME... i say that out of experience... their mind will become in their lower head, not the upper one.. :P blood will start pumping down, uh!



A ring in man's hand is not always a shield as many women think.. I like the hand of man with a ring in his left hand, with the good fancy watch ... with perfectly cut nails.. it just looks sexy... BUT, it actually doesn't mean full commitment as many women think.. commitment is that intangible feeling and strong bond that is built in relationship whether with or without a ring... Many men do not wear it because they are just uncomfortable with accessories, or anything placed on thier fingers or hands... on the other hand, some men who are unhappy in their marriages, keep it because they are used to it.. a habit... like a person who wears a glasses, cannot see without them...


So, are you with or against wearing rings... does it tie you up?


Will leave that question open for discussion....

Life is a roller coaster.. I just love living it!

Cheers!

Reflections.... Part 1

Reflections… on Life! Short lived Experience…

Drifting away with my note pad to a place there is no one except me, the paper, my laptop and my music! To speak out my thoughts, which I actually call reflections on life and some are just a mere flow of emotions … It is a very short lived experience; the past 23 years … were full of enthusiasm, joy, sadness, sorrow, laughter, mixed thoughts and feelings, ups and downs, love, hanging o pressured times, tough decisions, hard work, achievements and more! But still there are more and more to live and to EXPLORE out there! Which I can’t wait to try out & Experience

My curiosity to try things out sometimes scares me; however, I love the thrill it fills me with… After all, life is about trials, but sure within the drawn limits…

Looking at the world from the outside, like dripping a moving earth stand, you will find that life is just another journey, however, a journey in which you are the key traveller who is eligible draw the path! You either make the best out of it, or you live like just another pointless individual… But, I stopped thinking, how do we actually define destiny or fate? Don’t they say that it plays a role in your life; here you go one statement “Sho ne3mal, Naseeb!” BUT, I believe that you can play around with your NASEEB, if you are determined enough to get that job, that career, that person to live with, that grade you aimed for, that degree you wanted, that lifestyle you drew for yourself, it is your life… I don’t mean to be selfish in here, but we’ve got to live it our way, responsibilities a part f living our life, which makes it more interesting in terms of facing challenges, learning from our mistakes and encounters. However, on the other hand, sometimes our lives got sucked up by other people around us due to our duties to them, which makes us forget our own selves at time

Since we, as human beings, are the ones to do our choices, take our decisions, choose the path we
want, and if you are such a determined person with strong inner‐will, then you can achieve what you
aim for; taking into consideration the fact that you do what you have to do, and then etwakkal 3a
allah! Then, how is destiny controlling us… this is the complicated bit in here! Al Ensan mokhayar wa
laysa mosayyar! Or maybe this sentence is a sword of two sides!!
Life is simple yet complicated, interesting yet boring, thrilling and adventurous yet calm!
Life is a sequence of adventures, to be lived! As they say, you only live once, so make the best out of
it… however, at times, cultural restrictions put you off, pulls you back, get you back to your senses!
That wake up call that differentiates a rational person from the other… and that is what
differentiates human beings from animals; the gift of thinking, the gift of a rational mind, which is
not found in everyone by the way. But, at times, you feel this urge of the need to cross the line, get
beyond the boundaries, just for once, however, sometimes, you get afraid of this feeling becoming
an addiction! Which becomes Hard to get rid of!
On the contrary, at times, you question your life? And after a while you question your own past
decisions? Are you happy where you are now? Are you happy at your current job? Are you happy
with your current partner? Have you achieved what you are aiming for? And loads and loads of
questions clatter up!!
Do you think that every married woman/man is happy with her/his partner? Or if you dig deep in it
you will find that some of these couples are stuck due to the responsibilities they have after such a
time; like kids for instance! Which makes it an obstacle to get a divorce and for each to enjoy his/her
life and move on! However, what if the problems between the couple pile up, more and more, until
it is out of control? Then the only solution at this point is divorce! They say, 90% of your life misery
or joy is made up based on who is living with you, who is your partner?! Have you chosen her/him
rationally, correctly and weighed all factors before saying YES, I DO! The golden building block
between a couple to lead a life and get a family moving is understanding, harmony, and of course
~chemistry~ plus a bond of love!... a person that you won’t get bored aging with; i.e. love always to
talk to and listen to. At such a level, the children will be raised in an environment of love and
understanding, which will not be reflected on their personalities in a negative way; i.e. where
negative effect may result in a shy child, or aggressive, eating disorder, sleeping disorder, wetting
their beds at night, isolation, or addiction to x‐box, PSP or computer games as a way to withdraw
them selves from hearing their parents shouting and yelling on each other! BUT again, how will that
unhappy couple weigh such a difficult equation? The kids will be the victim of such an act, but still,
for them to stay within that negative environment full of fights and problems even have a wider
negative effect than divorce!! Ain’t it? I am not experienced yet in this field; however, I love the bits
and pieces of human psychology… You cannot find someone who is open enough with you to talk
about his current marriage, how is it after having kids, how is it after 10 or 15 years of marriage… the
years might have passed by so quickly, but hey you, they damn passed by with the same person, so
how is it going at your end?.. did you guys become as one whole body, OR, on the contrary, you are
so separate!?
Always you find people saying the best and loveliest bits about their marriage in public, and in front
of people you find them saying all the beautiful words to each other! However, dig deeply in their
relationships, you will find them the most unhappy couple. What a shame for staying together after
all this time where they can seek a new life with a new partner for a happier one!
So, partners should be alert enough to weigh their alternatives and factors in making a decision from
the very first beginning!! I wonder about the couple who get married traditionally? How the hell did
she/he made sure that she/he is the right person? Unfortunately, it is only about sex! The fact that
the human being needs to satisfy one’s needs! Screw this, how about a relationship that has a
passionate sex through perfect chemistry? Plus understanding, harmony and knowing what each
other’s needs and wants are, huh? Why not having a quality life! This will be such a perfect
combination; however, sadly the spark of a relationship usually fades away after a time has passed
on that marriage; no more love birds or newly weds! Responsibilities pile up, duties at your work are
piling up as you are progressing & developing, at a point your manager is not very pleased with your
performance, you have got a target to achieve for this year at work, you want to keep the harmony
with your manager, on the other hand, now the kids are born, you have responsibilities as a mum,
and yet as a wife; to your husband to keep him happy and satisfied, and as a house wife! Every age
has its ups and downs! No doubt at 40’s men start passing through mid‐life crisis! … What about if
you girl get that spark back to your marriage… get the passion going & moving… That’s a woman’s
job!!
So, speaking of this, men at their 40’s; they are at the best of their shape, experienced, giving, yet,
at that age he will start passing through mid life crisis [not all men are this way on their 40’s to mark
it down]! Maybe he is not anymore interested in his wife, responsibilities are increasing, he becomes
more interested in keeping himself in shape, how is that young man in his 20’s was doing?! He
misses that phase of his life, he becomes an old attractive teenager ☺ ! No tummy, but, tight abs,
left‐up shoulders, firm body! Now we are talking! He starts enjoying life again, but wishes it is not
with the same old partner…. He needs a change, new taste of a sexual relationship! Some men at
that age, gets married again, wants to start a new life with younger ladies; who can make them feel
young again, reminding them of their young years! However, I believe this phase will not last as
much; it might for years, until that man realises that he misses his first wife and wants to go back to
the old original life he built earlier! A smart wife can keep her man away from such a phase and
make him young again… she should be alert in staying fit, taking care of her body, hair and feet ☺.. I
am aware that she has kids to take care of, work and home responsibilities, but hey you, be selfish a
bit woman and take care of yourself, by this, your man will be happy and thus will be reflected on
your own home and environment you are living in! Life is always full of duties and responsibilities so
don’t let that gets on your way!
Men at their 40’s get attractive & sexy! They are experienced in all aspects, knowledgeable, they
weigh their words perfectly, still has ALOT to give in all aspects; as they say men never age inside –
nefs‐hom Khadra!! At the age of 70 you will find them rolling over like a lion! However, what about
women? It is a cycle.. the menstrual cycle gets involved, hormones, and yet, the lifestyle! You
determine it all.
And finally,I always say, life is not about age, it is about the spirit you are living in…Oh Yeah! How
you lead your life, your lifestyle… eating habits, exercising “staying fit”, and yet, have a short prime
time with yourself for meditating, and focusing on daily basis to reflect…

Man, it has been a while since I Blogged! I damn miss it!

TBC.....