Sunday, May 3, 2009

Reflections.... Part 1

Reflections… on Life! Short lived Experience…

Drifting away with my note pad to a place there is no one except me, the paper, my laptop and my music! To speak out my thoughts, which I actually call reflections on life and some are just a mere flow of emotions … It is a very short lived experience; the past 23 years … were full of enthusiasm, joy, sadness, sorrow, laughter, mixed thoughts and feelings, ups and downs, love, hanging o pressured times, tough decisions, hard work, achievements and more! But still there are more and more to live and to EXPLORE out there! Which I can’t wait to try out & Experience
My curiosity to try things out sometimes scares me; however, I love the thrill it fills me with… After all, life is about trials, but sure within the drawn limits…
Looking at the world from the outside, like dripping a moving earth stand, you will find that life is just another journey, however, a journey in which you are the key traveller who is eligible draw the path! You either make the best out of it, or you live like just another pointless individual… But, I stopped thinking, how do we actually define destiny or fate? Don’t they say that it plays a role in your life; here you go one statement “Sho ne3mal, Naseeb!” BUT, I believe that you can play around with your NASEEB, if you are determined enough to get that job, that career, that person to live with, that grade you aimed for, that degree you wanted, that lifestyle you drew for yourself, it is your life… I don’t mean to be selfish in here, but we’ve got to live it our way, responsibilities a part f living our life, which makes it more interesting in terms of facing challenges, learning from our mistakes and encounters. However, on the other hand, sometimes our lives got sucked up by other people around us due to our duties to them, which makes us forget our own selves at time
Since we, as human beings, are the ones to do our choices, take our decisions, choose the path we
want, and if you are such a determined person with strong inner‐will, then you can achieve what you
aim for; taking into consideration the fact that you do what you have to do, and then etwakkal 3a
allah! Then, how is destiny controlling us… this is the complicated bit in here! Al Ensan mokhayar wa
laysa mosayyar! Or maybe this sentence is a sword of two sides!!
Life is simple yet complicated, interesting yet boring, thrilling and adventurous yet calm!
Life is a sequence of adventures, to be lived! As they say, you only live once, so make the best out of
it… however, at times, cultural restrictions put you off, pulls you back, get you back to your senses!
That wake up call that differentiates a rational person from the other… and that is what
differentiates human beings from animals; the gift of thinking, the gift of a rational mind, which is
not found in everyone by the way. But, at times, you feel this urge of the need to cross the line, get
beyond the boundaries, just for once, however, sometimes, you get afraid of this feeling becoming
an addiction! Which becomes Hard to get rid of!
On the contrary, at times, you question your life? And after a while you question your own past
decisions? Are you happy where you are now? Are you happy at your current job? Are you happy
with your current partner? Have you achieved what you are aiming for? And loads and loads of
questions clatter up!!
Do you think that every married woman/man is happy with her/his partner? Or if you dig deep in it
you will find that some of these couples are stuck due to the responsibilities they have after such a
time; like kids for instance! Which makes it an obstacle to get a divorce and for each to enjoy his/her
life and move on! However, what if the problems between the couple pile up, more and more, until
it is out of control? Then the only solution at this point is divorce! They say, 90% of your life misery
or joy is made up based on who is living with you, who is your partner?! Have you chosen her/him
rationally, correctly and weighed all factors before saying YES, I DO! The golden building block
between a couple to lead a life and get a family moving is understanding, harmony, and of course
~chemistry~ plus a bond of love!... a person that you won’t get bored aging with; i.e. love always to
talk to and listen to. At such a level, the children will be raised in an environment of love and
understanding, which will not be reflected on their personalities in a negative way; i.e. where
negative effect may result in a shy child, or aggressive, eating disorder, sleeping disorder, wetting
their beds at night, isolation, or addiction to x‐box, PSP or computer games as a way to withdraw
them selves from hearing their parents shouting and yelling on each other! BUT again, how will that
unhappy couple weigh such a difficult equation? The kids will be the victim of such an act, but still,
for them to stay within that negative environment full of fights and problems even have a wider
negative effect than divorce!! Ain’t it? I am not experienced yet in this field; however, I love the bits
and pieces of human psychology… You cannot find someone who is open enough with you to talk
about his current marriage, how is it after having kids, how is it after 10 or 15 years of marriage… the
years might have passed by so quickly, but hey you, they damn passed by with the same person, so
how is it going at your end?.. did you guys become as one whole body, OR, on the contrary, you are
so separate!?
Always you find people saying the best and loveliest bits about their marriage in public, and in front
of people you find them saying all the beautiful words to each other! However, dig deeply in their
relationships, you will find them the most unhappy couple. What a shame for staying together after
all this time where they can seek a new life with a new partner for a happier one!
So, partners should be alert enough to weigh their alternatives and factors in making a decision from
the very first beginning!! I wonder about the couple who get married traditionally? How the hell did
she/he made sure that she/he is the right person? Unfortunately, it is only about sex! The fact that
the human being needs to satisfy one’s needs! Screw this, how about a relationship that has a
passionate sex through perfect chemistry? Plus understanding, harmony and knowing what each
other’s needs and wants are, huh? Why not having a quality life! This will be such a perfect
combination; however, sadly the spark of a relationship usually fades away after a time has passed
on that marriage; no more love birds or newly weds! Responsibilities pile up, duties at your work are
piling up as you are progressing & developing, at a point your manager is not very pleased with your
performance, you have got a target to achieve for this year at work, you want to keep the harmony
with your manager, on the other hand, now the kids are born, you have responsibilities as a mum,
and yet as a wife; to your husband to keep him happy and satisfied, and as a house wife! Every age
has its ups and downs! No doubt at 40’s men start passing through mid‐life crisis! … What about if
you girl get that spark back to your marriage… get the passion going & moving… That’s a woman’s
job!!
So, speaking of this, men at their 40’s; they are at the best of their shape, experienced, giving, yet,
at that age he will start passing through mid life crisis [not all men are this way on their 40’s to mark
it down]! Maybe he is not anymore interested in his wife, responsibilities are increasing, he becomes
more interested in keeping himself in shape, how is that young man in his 20’s was doing?! He
misses that phase of his life, he becomes an old attractive teenager ☺ ! No tummy, but, tight abs,
left‐up shoulders, firm body! Now we are talking! He starts enjoying life again, but wishes it is not
with the same old partner…. He needs a change, new taste of a sexual relationship! Some men at
that age, gets married again, wants to start a new life with younger ladies; who can make them feel
young again, reminding them of their young years! However, I believe this phase will not last as
much; it might for years, until that man realises that he misses his first wife and wants to go back to
the old original life he built earlier! A smart wife can keep her man away from such a phase and
make him young again… she should be alert in staying fit, taking care of her body, hair and feet ☺.. I
am aware that she has kids to take care of, work and home responsibilities, but hey you, be selfish a
bit woman and take care of yourself, by this, your man will be happy and thus will be reflected on
your own home and environment you are living in! Life is always full of duties and responsibilities so
don’t let that gets on your way!
Men at their 40’s get attractive & sexy! They are experienced in all aspects, knowledgeable, they
weigh their words perfectly, still has ALOT to give in all aspects; as they say men never age inside –
nefs‐hom Khadra!! At the age of 70 you will find them rolling over like a lion! However, what about
women? It is a cycle.. the menstrual cycle gets involved, hormones, and yet, the lifestyle! You
determine it all.
And finally,I always say, life is not about age, it is about the spirit you are living in…Oh Yeah! How
you lead your life, your lifestyle… eating habits, exercising “staying fit”, and yet, have a short prime
time with yourself for meditating, and focusing on daily basis to reflect…

Man, it has been a while since I Blogged! I damn miss it!
TBC.....

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